Band 9 Sample Essay for IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: Retirement

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Companies should encourage their senior staff to retire at age fifty-five in order to give more opportunities to the younger generation. Do you agree or disagree?

INTRODUCTION

After devoting (=dedicating) most of your adult life to working, the decision to retire is not an easy one. Relevant factors like corporate movement, technology development, and dreams will be looked at in this essay. (33 words)

BODY

To start, we should consider the fact that every year more and more students are graduating and entering the labor market. When people retire at the age of sixty or sixty-five they are restricting (=preventing; blocking) youngsters from entering the market. That is to say (used to explain something clearly), everyone working for that person has to wait so much longer before they are able to move up (=climb up; to go to a better job or higher level etc) the corporate ladder.

Second, we have to remember that technology is changing at an ever­-increasing pace (=rapidly). If a person has not been studying actively during his working life, his or her knowledge will be completely outdated at age fifty-five. For instance, the time to develop a new type of computers is reduced (=decreased, cut down) all the time. The members of the younger generation in a company or an organization are usually familiar with these developments.

Lastly, at the age of fifty-five, employees have had sufficient (=enough) opportunity to realize their dreams or fulfill their ambitions and should be content with (=happy; satisfied with) what they have achieved. For instance, one should really not start pursuing (=chasing) a new dream at this age or have many unfulfilled ambitions. (180 words)

CONCLUSION

I have discussed the question by referring to ( mentioning ) movement in the corporate structure, new technology, and dreams and ambitions. From this, it can be concluded that it would be very advantageous if people were to retire at age fifty-five. (38 words) (Total words: 251)